Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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