I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
