just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
