drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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