its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
