Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I smell like Dick and happiness
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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