i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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