Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
