he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
