So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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