whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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