KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
