Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
