ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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