just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize