glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
