Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
being pregnant is like rehab
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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