So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize