whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
There's even glitter on my cock...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
