the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
