We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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