I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he shaved USA in his pubs
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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