Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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