jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
