Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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