shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Randomize
