You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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