Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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