I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
