Pappa wants mamma naked
oh god the rape fog is back!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
