That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
