he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
