It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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