yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Boobs speak an international language.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
