Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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