i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
