I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
