can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
