We're facebook friends in real life
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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