just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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