Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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