i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
