just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
