Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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