So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Houston, we have a blender
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
