you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
