bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
