Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
My liver just broke up with me...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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