Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
