I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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