Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He shit in the fireplace
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