just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
