good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
