PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
