I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
