Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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