when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
