eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
And then my night got REAL pukey
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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