I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
