He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
