He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
