it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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