I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
