Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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