it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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