so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
