after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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