just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
