i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I AM VODKA MAN
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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