but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
