would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
